citizen kane edit


You have several ideas here that need citation from sources, so I’d suggest you open with some quotes from Giannetti about Kane to set up your analysis. Then perhaps just take 1-2 scenes from Kane to show what interests you and add more detail to your analysis of these scenes. Finally, read the whole draft aloud slowly to make the sentence flow as you would say it if you were speaking to the reader. You’ve got good topic selection and source, but you still need to focus on paragraph structure and source citation. 

 There are some areas where you’re struggling a bit, specifically citing all paraphrased as well as directly quoted ideas from Giannetti and paragraph structure. If you want to revise this essay and resubmit it next week for up to 10 points more, you can. Let me know.